A few weeks or so after we first met, Finn mentioned that he was going to his hometown for New Year’s Eve. He still works there, but lives closer to me, about an hour or so away from the hometown. However, a lot of his friends are still there so he goes there often. I asked him one day last week if the plan for NYE was still to go out there and essentially invited myself along. He said that Linda was having some people over for a low key night in and he’d already gotten a room down there so if that’s what I wanted to do, I was more than welcome, but he didn’t want to take me away from my family traditions. I told him that our traditions aren’t anything set in stone and more along the lines of doing pork and shrimp on New Year’s Day anyway and took the opportunity to invite him to dinner with the fam, to which I got no response regarding.
Cut to December 30 and I get a text telling me there has been a change of plans for NYE. Instead of going to the hometown, he wanted to stay close to home and go to his neighborhood bar as they were having a live band, along with dinner and drink specials. I was fine with this as I much prefer not having to drive 90 minutes, plus it would mean just the two of us spending the holiday together.
NYE Day, I posted a picture collage of a memory from each month of 2017 to Facebook. December was that picture of Finn and me that we took on one of our dates that he asked me not to post back then. This was the first “public” announcement to most of my friends that I am seeing someone. Please know, I have been single for a LONG TIME so it was quite shocking for most people to see this. Maybe shocking isn’t the right word, but there were some surprised people out there. All of the comments made were positive, but still came from surprised people, nonetheless. I did not tag Finn in the post so that it didn’t show up on his feed, but I am essentially done keeping it in that we are together. It’s been a month now. We may not have had the exclusivity conversation, but we are exclusive. I know I’m not seeing anyone else and we communicate far too frequently throughout the day that if he were to be seeing anyone else, there would be no time for him to actually work.
NYE night, we go to the bar for dinner and drinks. The band was a bluesy/rock cover band who played a lot of B sides that neither of us recognized in the first half of their set. The second half was an improvement with more popular songs that got people onto the dance floor. Including us. It’s funny because Finn has made the comment on a couple of occasions that he cannot dance at all and yet, he was the one pulling me onto the dance floor. Granted, they were slow dances, but I wasn’t even expecting that after the comments he’d made.
Now here is where he wins again. At one point before midnight, the band took another short break. Finn suddenly says, “I’ll be right back” and practically ran away from the table. I thought he was going to the bathroom, but I turned around to look at the room while he was gone and saw him talking to the band members who were seated just off the dance floor. I saw him holding up his phone and could see the screen. It was a song by my most favorite artist and he was asking if they knew it. I could tell from the band’s faces they did not know it (typical), but the fact that he tried to do this for me just made me melt. For a “non-boyfriend,” that sure was a “boyfriend” type move.
Moving on to the rest of the evening. The ball dropped on TV in Times Square, Auld Lang Syne was played, champagne was toasted, and for the first time in many years, I had someone to kiss at midnight.
As the bar was closing down, I’m not quite sure how the conversation turned to this, but Finn mentioned having a concern over the “friends” I’ve had over the years. Since I have not had a boyfriend, he knows that I have had friends with benefits and he expressed some concern over them reappearing in my life. I asked if he wanted the whole back story, briefly forgetting about Ryan and harkening way back in my head to almost 2 years earlier when I had briefly hooked up with an ex. Here I was thinking that I could assuage his concerns by letting him know it had been 2 years since I’d been with anyone so he needn’t worry that I’m all about getting laid. He said to hit him with it and BAM! I remembered Ryan.
Oh shit. Oh well, here goes. So I told him the whole story with Ryan. How he was my first Bumble date and how we met for coffee and he talked incessantly and really didn’t care to let me talk. How we went back to his house and only kissed at the end of the night and he tried to get me to come back inside, but I went home as planned. How I went back the next night and while I found out we really did have some things in common, he didn’t seem to care to learn those things as again, he just liked to hear himself talk. How he convinced me to go to his bedroom even though we didn’t have to do anything, and then we did it. How I went back the next day and a couple more times after that. I told Finn that there was no overlap from when I last saw/talked to Ryan and first started talking to him. I also told him that since I’ve been with him, Ryan has since texted me twice and I have ignored him both times.
I could tell that for as much as Finn said he wanted to know this, he did not like hearing it. He mentioned again he knows he has jealousy issues and is doing his best to work on them and he said several times he appreciates that I told him the truth about this when asked, even if he didn’t like the answer. I offered to show him the texts. I wanted him to know that what I have with him is so much better than anything I had with Ryan. I can tell Finn actually cares about me and wants to know all of me, and I’m not just a warm body willing to use each other for a good time.
It wasn’t until I had this conversation with Finn that I realized some things. When I first started dating again, I didn’t know what I was looking for. If someone asked me, I would not have been able to say because I just did not know. Hell, I probably still don’t fully know. I have loved and savored my independence for years and scoffed at the idea of sharing my life with someone. It’s all new territory to me after all this time. What I do know is that Finn has shown me a lot of things about what it looks like to be with a man who has his shit together and has showered me with more attention than I never knew I wanted. He has demonstrated his desire to be with me and made me feel so comfortable while getting to know someone new. I didn’t think I wanted a relationship, but that’s what this has turned into, and I am quite happy about it.
Now, back to warm bodies having a good time together…we went back to Finn’s house after the bar closed. Finn had mentioned to me before that he really enjoys matching undergarments and since I’ve never been really big on that, I had bought some for the occasion. I had shown him a photo of them (not on me) at the bar, so he knew what was in store for him when we got home. We did not even make it upstairs to his bedroom. Instead, I somehow became disrobed somewhere between the living room and kitchen. I hopped up on his kitchen island, facing him in nothing but my bra and underwear. He proceeded to shower me with kisses from head to toe, before spending a long time pushing my underwear to the side and tongue fucking me. We left the bar at 2. He literally lives 2 stop signs away, maybe half a mile from there. It may have taken us 10 minutes to get from leaving the bar until we were inside his house. And that’s a stretch. This picture was taken at 3:09 am by him on his way upstairs. One of my favorite songs by that favorite artist has the line, ‘I found heaven on your kitchen floor.’ Close enough, I found it on his kitchen island.
You might wonder, why in the hell did he take a picture? I don’t know and I don’t care, but I love that he did because I document the shit out of my life and him doing so helped me with that.
We ended up finally going to sleep around 5:30 am. Remember how I once asked what if it’s not good? Forget I ever said that. And Ryan who?