I’ve been a bad blogger and have no excuse for it other than being lazy and struggling to put it all out there. When I started this thing, it was designed as a way to capture the humor of how awful it can be dating nowadays and the pieces of work that are out there. Now that I’ve met Finn, it has evolved into something else and those damn things called feelings make it tougher for me to put pen to paper (fingers to keyboard just doesn’t have the same ring to it) about us.
That said, Finn is still a man and he can confound and confuse me just as much as any of them. So, let’s talk about that.
On our last date, I had extended the invitation to come to my parents house for Christmas. I knew he was probably going to be alone and I didn’t want that, but I also wanted to see him. I told him that there was no pressure and though I could see how it might seem like a huge deal to meet the parents on the biggest holiday of the year, it really wasn’t that big of a deal to us. I see my family all the time and we typically have family dinner once a week so Christmas was just going to be like any other family dinner. He told me he’d have to think about it as he and Brant had talked about doing the single guy thing and going to get Chinese. I let him know the invitation was there and he could let me know.
Christmas Eve I went to church and texted him after to see what he was up to. He was at his local bar and asked me if I wanted to join him. I was still in my church clothes, but agreed to come meet him since he had not let me know about Christmas yet and I figured it was more of an in person conversation than a text one so I headed there.
I walked in and he was seated at the bar. When he saw me, he looked me up and down and said, “damn.” Here he was in his jeans and a hoodie and I came in, completely overdressed for this small town hole in the wall. The look on his face and that comment made me feel wanted and brought a smile to my face. I sat next to him and joked about how I was his escort for the evening.
While sitting there, he mentioned Christmas and asked what time I was going to my parents’. I told him and he said he wanted to see me before I went as he had something for me. He said he and Brant were going to do the lonely, single guy thing and go over to their friend’s house for Christmas dinner.
“Are you lonely and single?”
He replied with, “well I guess I’m not too lonely, but I’m still kind of single.”
Oh hi, punch to the gut.
Wow. Here we are almost a month in, clearly have only been seeing and talking to each other, and he still considers himself to be single. No, we hadn’t had the exclusivity conversation, but there really isn’t enough time in the day for him or me to be spending it thinking about or talking to anyone else. I haven’t called him my boyfriend out loud, but let’s face it, he is.
After my initial reaction of hurt, I tried to think about it from his point of view. He is a few months out of a 2.5 year relationship and when he started dating, he didn’t expect to hit the jackpot right away. He recognizes a good thing when he sees it (me) and doesn’t want to throw that away, but he is still recovering from that last relationship. So, if he needs some more time to put a label on it, I’m okay with that. And I started wondering to myself, do I need that label? I’m not sure. What I am sure of is that it is still early on, and we have a great connection so I need to accept that shit at face value.
Cut to Christmas Day, Finn makes plans to stop by my house so we can exchange gifts. I had three things for him to open so I gave them to him in the order they needed to be opened. The first was a set of Star Wars Christmas ornaments that I had bought on eBay as they were an older edition or something. The next was a knit beanie of his hockey team. The thing was an IOU of sorts that I had made him. I wanted to buy us tickets to a hockey game, but I didn’t want to do so without making sure we didn’t have conflicting schedules so my gift explained that he needs to pick the game and I will buy us the tickets.
Meanwhile, I open my gift from him. My jewelry sized box gift. I opened it to find a beautiful necklace that made me gasp upon seeing it. Clearly, not a girlfriend <~~~ sarcasm. I said, “oh my god, this is beautiful. Thank you!” He told me that because I don’t wear jewelry other than necklaces, he knew he had to find one that was special for me. Yep, totally two single people just buying each other holiday gifts with no thought whatsoever.
I sent a picture of the gift to The Cookie People with the comment, “clearly not my boyfriend,” to which Riley replied, “damn Finn, can I be your friend if that’s the kind of gifts you give you friends?” Yep, my girls get it.