Ah, the age old question – “Why are you still single?” Or in my mind, “What is wrong with you?”
I had my second date with Finn and we met at a local restaurant and bar for drinks. It was just as easy with him as the first was, which is a relief because I was kind of scared that was an anomaly. I had eaten a light dinner of a slice and a half of pizza and ordered some kind of whiskey drink that was super strong. I could feel it before it was half gone.
Luckily I’m a happy and fun drunk so it was okay, even though I woke up this morning feeling the need to apologize to Finn if I had acted like an ass. I realized that even though it feels like we’ve known each other longer than we have, the fact is that we have not and I tend to be a bit of a smart ass and my jokes may not be well received by those who don’t know me that well. Turns out, all was well when I texted him an apology as he said that at no point was I an ass and he had an amazing time with me once again. Shew.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I think I was on my third drink when he said, “So I have to ask, why hasn’t someone snatched you up yet?” Me, “oh you mean, what is wrong with me?” Finn, “well not exactly, you are a pretty woman, you’re a lot of fun, and you seem to have your shit together, so I just don’t get it.” Preaching to the choir here, pal.
I explained my back story with Bill and Dante and how Oprah changed my life, but that after I had done all the work on myself, I found it really difficult to meet someone.
I explained I had done online dating in the past, but no one was good enough for me (does that make me sound stuck up? Unintended, but I am a confident woman and I know I have a lot to offer anyone, friends, family, or boyfriends, and I will not settle).
I explained that I did the whole (bullshit) adage of ‘when you aren’t looking is when you find someone.’ That is just not true. Trust me. I’ve been single for a long freaking time and was not looking for the majority of said time and NO ONE just poof(!) appeared in front of me to sweep me off my feet into happily ever after (which I also don’t believe exists, but that’s for another time).
I explained that there were times when I viewed relationships of my friends and saw how much they bickered and picked at one another and I thanked God that I was single and answered to no one but myself. Life is simply easier when you are single and satisfied with who you are.
Turns out, he understood all of this (I mean, it is logical, but sometimes people aren’t known to be logical).
Then we got into his back story, which as you’ll recall, I did my own reconnaissance on here. He explained why his marriage ended. He and his ex wife used to be heavier people. She lost weight, at which point she claimed she was no longer attracted to him. So she would go out with her girlfriends most weekends when they had the new baby at home. She suddenly began guarding her phone very closely and one day when it was unattended, he saw a text come in from a guy saying that he couldn’t wait to be inside of her. Yowza, that hurts. It’s one thing to suspect it, but it’s another to see that kind of confirmation.
He explained his most recent ex (the one still in his top 5 FB pics) kind of came out of nowhere. They met briefly at a party (introductions only) and she was 11 years his junior. She messaged him on FB about a week later and he did not even really remember who she was, but they had 35 mutual friends so he replied and they started dating. They were together for 2.5 years and broke up 3 months ago. He explained they wanted different things. She was pressuring him to get married and have a kid, but he had been there and done that and really isn’t too keen on the idea of doing it again, especially after how the first one played out. They went their separate ways, but it was as amicable as any break up can be, especially since they have a lot of the same friends.
He even explained that if I were to add him on Facebook that I would see pictures of the two of them together because he isn’t really active on there, nor is he one to erase someone from his life as if they never existed. Has he somehow seen this blog? Just kidding. He spoke kindly of the ex, but not in a longing, yearning type of way of someone who is still pining over someone.
He asked me if I had interests similar to his most recent ex and I said I most definitely do not wish to have kids. Regarding marriage, I can’t really remember what I even said. I think I said that I am not really sure what I want, which is the truth. I told him about the conversation with Dale and how he took issue with my being okay being single. Finn shook his head and said, “he sounds like a bit of a psycho.” Yessir, he does.
We closed down the restaurant, they closed at 8:30 on Sundays, but they let us hang out until around 9. Since we were not far from the donut shop that I mentioned a few nights earlier that he asked if we could go sometime, I suggested we go there. He drove us over there. As we waited to get inside, I said I was going to get a dozen and take them to work the following day. He said, “get whatever you want.” Initially, I thought that odd because of course I’m going to get what I want, dude. When it came time to pay, I started to get cash out of my wallet, but he handed the clerk his card. I protested, but Finn refused and the kid behind the counter said, “he had his ready first.” Thank you again for being such a gentleman. My coworkers & I appreciate it.
I suggested we go back to my house so we could eat the donuts and he agreed. I warned him that my dog is insane and would likely jump all over him. He said that would be fine. Surprisingly enough, my dog Roger did not go as crazy as I expected him to. We hung out and watched TV for a bit and I gave him some of the crockpot meal I had been cooking to take in his lunch the next day. As I was dipping it up, I snuck a taste and told him it was really good and he needed to try it. I will admit, I pulled a total flirt move and fed it to him.
It was getting late and we both had to work the next day so he said he had better head out and he gave me a hug in the kitchen. I walked him to the door and we were saying goodbye with trusty Roger by my side the whole time with this strange man in the house. He hugged me again and it was then that I realized how good he smelled. As we were pulling away from the hug, I pulled back only enough so that we were face to face and I went in for the kiss. Thinking back on it now, it was damn near perfect as far as first kisses go.
Uh oh, I think I may really like this guy…