According to his profile, Dale was a sole proprietor (this turns out to be outdated info), owned his own house, didn’t have kids or want any (I’m listening), and there was a “very good reason for this.”
Within a few exchanges, he asked me to verify I did not have kids. I confirmed. He asked if I wanted any. “Nope.” He replied with a, “good me neither.” Followed by a, “can’t have them anyway.” I proceeded to ask if that was the “very good reason” to which he replied he would share more if this progressed. Soon after he asked if I wanted to meet as he was better with face to face than chatting online. I agreed. We made plans to meet for dinner the following evening.
We met in a town centrally located between both of us, the same town where good ol’ Ryan lives. Dale was polite and nice enough, conversation wasn’t too difficult, even for an introvert like myself. However, it soon became evident that we didn’t really have a lot in common. An example of our conversation.
Dale: What kind of movies do you like? Marvel? The Avengers? That sort of thing?
Me: Not really. I think they’re well done movies, but just not my choice in entertainment.
Dale: What about horror?
Dale: (with complete incredulity) One of the last girls I dated was really into this band that wasn’t touring in the US and she actually wanted to fly to Ireland to see them. I said to her, “you’ve seen them 6 times and you want to fly to another country to see them again?”
Anyone who knows me, knows that I love my bands and cannot see enough of them, so this wasn’t the way into my heart. And seeing a band 6 times is a drop in the bucket for me.
Me: Well, if she wanted to do that, I completely understand it. And it’s not like she is only going to see them. She gets a trip to Ireland out of the deal and that experience would be amazing.
Dale: Yeah, I guess so.
Dale: So, are you into drag racing?
Dale: Would you be willing to go to car shows?
Me: (raised eyebrows) I mean, I guess I would do anything once, but that doesn’t really sound like something I’d be interested in either.
Dale: Do you like guns?
Me: Um, they’re fine. I wouldn’t say I like them or am completely against them either. They have their place, but I’m not a fanatic either way.
Dale: Good, because I have quite a few. That’s one thing I hate about where you live, you can’t obtain a conceal-carry permit there.
He then proceeds to talk about gun violence and says, “You don’t ever hear about mass shootings at a gun show.” Well, no dipshit, no you don’t.
Me: So what is the deal with you and kids?
Dale: That’s really personal.
Me: Um, you brought it up before we even met so I think it’s fair game.
Dale: Agreed. **blah blah blah** had a vasectomy at 26 because the doc was in there doing something else. Was married at the time and wife didn’t want kids either so decided to address it while doc was in there.
Dale then proceeds to talk about his disdain for children. Now, I am not a big fan of kids and do not want them, but I don’t hold it against people who do and I certainly don’t hold anything against children themselves which is essentially how he explained his position. Even though we agreed we weren’t interested in procreating, it was clearly not for the same reasons.
Dale: How long you been on the site?
Me: About 2 months or so, off and on. I get bored every now and then and will see who’s out there, but it doesn’t really consume me.
Dale: Oh I’ve been on it, and others, for about three years now.
Me: Three years?!?! Wow, okay.
Dale: Well, I am just looking for someone because I don’t want to be alone.
Me: (harkening my Oprah-ology) Why are you not okay with being alone? (thinks to self: actually, I don’t care). You need to learn to be alone and happy before you can really find happiness outside yourself. I am perfectly content with my life.
Dale: Then what are we doing here?
Me: **shrugs** I don’t know. It might be nice to find the right person to add into my life, but I’m perfectly happy with my life without someone too.
The night ended and we parted in the parking lot. I thanked him for dinner and gave him a hug. On my way home, I realized that there was really nothing there and honestly could only really think about how near I was to Ryan’s place. So I texted him and mentioned I was in town and wanted to see if he was over having fun with me. He replied, “no, never ever.” BINGO
I asked if I should turn around since by now I was heading home, but I did not get a reply right away. I didn’t want to just drop by because I don’t know what his schedule is with his kids. I ended up going home, but I was still pleased that door was reopened.
I got home to find a message from Dale on the app.
Dale: I had a really great time with you tonight and hope we can do it again.
Uh oh. Now what? I don’t have a lot of experience with ending these things. In the past when someone was interested and I wasn’t, I lied and said I met someone else whom I was pursuing instead. This time, I decided to be a rightful grown up and tell the truth. Off to google I went to find out tips for nicely ending things.
Me: Thanks for dinner. I enjoyed meeting you, but I just didn’t feel much of a connection. I wish you the best and good luck out there.
Dale: what were you expecting in an hour?
I did the right thing. I can’t help him figure it out.
Dale: sometimes it takes longer to make a connection.
OMG, dude, just stop!
Dale: if you’re content with being alone, then you’re never going to find a connection.
Wow. Just wow. I believe that last statement was meant as an insult/way of throwing my words back at me. Know your audience. I stated that I am happy with my life. I could make room for the right person, but I don’t NEED someone else. I decided to turn in for the night and that if I got another message from him, I was going to blow him up and then block and report him. Meanwhile, I did locate him on Facebook and blocked him before he could find me and harass me on there. The next morning, I woke up to find he had unmatched me and the conversation history had vanished. Oh darn.